The measure of nursing. . .

Your past achievements have often been measured in terms of a “grade point average”, a measurement that you have come to know as having some value and worth in academic culture.

IQ

For most for our lives we have had our “intelligence” measured in one way or another. We have had a never ending number of grades and evaluations. However, grades, IQ scores, SATs cannot predict who will succeed in life. We all know those really smart people who just seem to be out of touch with everyone else.

The brightest among us can be poor pilots of our private lives, especially when another type of intelligence is missing.

EQ

(David Goleman describes Emotional Intelligence as:

Being able to motivate oneself and persist in the face of frustrations

Being able to control one’s impulses and delay gratification

Being able to regulate and monitor ones moods and keep distress from swamping the ability to think. (Nursing provides many opportunities to be swamped!)

Possessing the skill of empathy and the ability to hope for better things.

Studies over the last 10 years have confirmed being able to make the grade is not enough, especially when we don’t possess the ability to measure our own and others emotions.

We have to know how to relate, and nursing demands we have a highly developed sense of how we affect/ impact others.

Stories told by patients speak of the need to connect with their nurses. For healing to occur a therapeutic relationship must be established. It is not enough to know what to do, to be successful, you must be emotionally smart. You need to develop the ability to know what is knowledge, to do things with that knowledge and know how your knowing and doing affect others.

The very first step in cultivating emotional intelligence is to be self aware. You must recognize your feelings and build a vocabulary for those feelings. You need to know there is a difference in the definition of emotions, feelings and reactions.

Next you must examine your actions and know their consequences. You need to know if feelings are ruling your decision making process, you need to learn to monitor and manage feelings.

You need to learn to handle stress.

Handling stress is all about choices.

Making good choices is all about perceptions, self awareness, and feelings. Do you see the connection?

You must cultivate empathy.

Understand others’ feelings and concerns.

It is about being aware of other people’s perspectives.

You must become a good listener and learn to ask good questions to be a good communicator—it is not just about talking.

You need to monitor your judgments and reactions.

You need to value self disclosure, AND you need to balance and be insightful when it is appropriate and trustworthy to share private feelings.

You need to build the skill of pattern recognition; it will build your ability to be insightful.

You need to be self accepting, see your strengths and weaknesses, don’t forget to laugh at yourself once and awhile.

You need to be responsible, and assertive. The patients you serve are counting on you to be their advocates. In learning these behaviors, you will be able to take care of yourself as well.

SQ

There is yet another type of intelligence.

It is called: Spiritual intelligence.

Spiritual intelligence is about why we do what we do.

What calls us and guides us in our career.

It is the development of our self.

It is the ability to be awake and aware every moment.

David Foster Wallace told this short story in his commencement speech at Kenyon College in Ohio.

There are these 2 young fish swimming along…they happen to meet an older fish swimming the other way, . . .. . . .who graciously nods at them and says, “Good morning…how’s the water?

And the 2 young fish swim on for a bit, and then eventually one of them looks at the other and says,

“What the hell is water?”

It is my fervent hope that as you swim along in your nursing career, you are always awake enough to be aware of your life. Your discover your reason for being here.

That you get the opportunity to become who you are meant to be.

Ee cummings wrote it takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.

With so many competing holds on your life, be it your parents wishes, your partner’s wishes, your friends, your colleagues, it can be very tough to first evaluate your beliefs and to embrace your values.

Spiritual intelligence is an ability to access higher meanings, values, abiding purposes, and to wake up the unconscious aspects of the self.

It is the ability to take this self discovery of meaning, values and purpose to live a richer and more creative, happy, successful, confident life.

Nursing will give you the opportunity to develop spiritual intelligence.

It will give you a sense of vocation or calling.

It provides an avenue through which you will be given the opportunity to inspire others to be fulfilled.

Your patients need not only intelligent nurses, they need emotionally mature, spiritually gifted nurses.

Ones who sense and act on their needs, from a place inside that is holistic, open, positive, aware, and present.

Spiritual intelligence is the ability to be aware of others, have a sense of wonder, awe, to cherish the wisdom passed through the ages, to have perspective, to be at comfort with chaos and paradox, and to be committed and dedicated to the tenets of your chosen profession.

I ask you to consciously choose to be a nurse, it will take courage and dedication to be successful, and being a nurse will give you the opportunity to be fulfilled,to be the full measure of who you really are.